From what I’ve heard, my partner’s ex was really romantic and stuff. That’s not really my style but I wanna come through for my boo. What can I do?
Romance can be so many things. The classic stuff of flowers and candlelight is one thing. Creativity is another. Anything can be made romantic. You just have to spin it right. Here are some tips.
1. Pay attention. Pay attention to things that are special to your boo and to your relationship together: Inside jokes, funny experiences you’ve shared together, her favourite movie, a story he shared, their dream vacation. This is all material for romantic gestures. A line from that favourite movie can go into a blank card (or one you make yourself). Photos of your two heads plus pics of that dream vacation can make an awesome collage.
2. Make things. Don’t just buy stuff and hand it over. Put some effort into the creation of your sentiment! It’s sweet when gifts are handmade and wonky. If you find something you want to buy, consider whether you can make it (or a version of it).
3. Hide things to be found. When you’ve got something to give, you can hand it over, cup your hands under your chin, and wait for a response. Or, you could hide it in a place and patiently wait! Most people love surprises. And to be reminded that they are cared for when they don’t expect it. Pockets, wallets, bags, lockers, the inside of books. Even cell phone or laptop backgrounds can be a great “hiding” spot. Just don’t go snooping; that’s not romantic.
4. Say it (and mean it). Compliments, sweet sentiments, favourite stories about your partner. These are all nice things to share. The key is to be genuine about it. Notice the things you appreciate about them. You can share it right then or take a mental note for later.
5. Mark important moments. Celebration is not just for anniversaries and birthdays. Think of interesting moments (like, the first time you thought, “I want you to meet my family”; or, the first time you called each other on the phone), mark them down, and then celebrate them some time after. These can be surprises or pre-planned.
6. Grow a thicker skin. Even the best romancing gestures may not get received exactly how you want them. That’s OK. You can learn from what bombs and what flies. At the same time, if your partner is particularly unappreciative, you can also ask for more appreciation (when you’re no longer sulking – a tantrum is just not the fastest or best way to get there).Report This